Open comments on JP's livejournal for the last year

Odd, yes, I know.

Friday, December 17th, 2004
8:23 pm
christmas
everything is handy dandy hunky dory.

om of lee now, got my husband @ home and my daughters well taken care of.

i hope everyone else is as happy and blessed as me.

Well, we're trying, aren't we?

Friday, December 31st, 2004
3:46 pm
new happenings
so we finally decided to build a house. i'm excited. we wrote our contract the day before yesterday. It's a 3/2 with a den in our community in fort myers called hawks preserve.

here is a list of our options:

*all stainless steel appliances
*french doors
*corian countertops in the wet areas (kitchen/bathrooms)
*all upgraded moen castleby fixtures
*extended tile
*42' maple cabinets
*recess lighting in the kitchen
*crown molding

of course there is standard crap that goes with the house but i don't feel like listing it all. what i can say, though, is hooray for floritam and irrigation systems and dimensional shingles.

corian is friggin expensive. if anybody ever scratches my countertops i'll uzi their asses.

you hear me world?

happy new years!

It's nice that you're getting what you like. You're really into this house shit, aren't you?

Saturday, March 26th, 2005
8:25 am
hm
so i think i missed kris' trip.

this is very unfortunate as i wanted to go.

we killed kailey's chocolate bunny via melting him to death in the car. not to fear though - i have to go to toys-r-us and find a doodle bear for her (i really don't know what a doodle bear is but target says that they exsist but they currently do not have anymore and we all know that target doesn't lie) so i will replaced the goo bunny then.

we got our building permit. joy of joys!

my mother in law got promoted to the regional of the west coast. evil evil. now she's my boss. didn't see that one coming.

happy easter!

Ya think? Thanks for avoiding my calls like I'm a stalker or something. Fuck you. And your house. I hope everyone in your life becomes as self-centered as you are and forgets who you are or what your use to them is.

Thursday, June 16th, 2005
7:12 pm
random...again
4 beers later i'm drinking and writing.

lord - that is totally pathetic.

so, let me tell you how difficult combining working out everyday with only consuming 1200 calories daily as well. it's the devil. the stacker 2 and the weight loss vitamin i'm consuming helps a little. it still sucks ass but whatever. 7/8 just isn't acceptable anymore. 5/6 here i come. my fucking arms hurt and my abs feel like somebody used them as rubber bands.

we're eating the collier division at my work. they are going out of business because the lots are out of our range now. hmmm....naples plus affordable building not working? go figure. i have to be there tomorrow. gross.

i got offered a decent position in melbourne with the big corporate players but turned it down. i figured it was better to hit ball here with the people i know. i wasn't impressed with the department and couldn't get decent advice so i went with my gut. no harm - no foul.

keegan has her first mini-tooth and kailey is turning 6. god i'm old!!!! i'll be the big 2-7 this month.

my husband is still hot. hooray! we are totally happy still. double hooray!

casey is moving to switzerland. weird!

rachel is pregnant! double weird!

i have 2 assistant office managers now! neat-o!

our house started 5/30. it's a HUGE mud pit because of the rain. rough plumb is in - slab next.

we went car shopping and fell in love with the odyssey mini-van. we are so tre-yuppie.

very productive year thus far.

:)

Yes, it is pathetic. I'd like you to meet Stacey House one day. You'd make a great pair. My aren't you important - glad the corporate whoring is going well. Can't imagine why Casey'd be moving away.

BTW, that's tres-yuppie. Go back to high school. Why am I still so full of hate? You're selfish - you always have been, I've never been so angry about it before. Hmmm.

Wednesday, July 6th, 2005
8:29 pm
content?
i wonder if i will ever have the urge to pursue human interaction outside of my job & family?

someone recently told me that i am completely incapable of keeping the most simple of friendships and i wonder if this is correct?

when examined - even to present day - this could be true.

i've ignored several emails lately from people that have had interesting but brief interaction with me on the deepest of levels.

so, this would prove this person's point.

i suppose maybe i might be incapable, and if so - what would fix this? do i need to fix it at all?

i don't have longing or any desire to pursue anything outside what i have now....

or, if if did - i couldn't go above and beyond what i could give now.

am i going to have an empty and regret filled spot one day?

i don't know. it's all very confusing.

it's growing dark outside. i have a very comfortable bed & a really good book loaded on my clie to read waiting.

yet, here i am.

i had a very stressful day. my responsibility levels grow on an hourly basis. my bills have been averaging about 1k a week thus far. this seems astronomical when i think about it.

what is important?

how does this all tie together?

am i too drunk to even think about these things right now?

i don't know.

i wonder about my previous spoiled lifestyle when i had no responsibilities except for myself and kailey and there was nothing but laughter and silliness. i feel as though that was years and years ago.

then again, i feel like sometimes the people that i loved before only loved me back and wanted me to be a part of their lives when i was the most uninterested in what they had to offer.

is friendship a struggle to stay with a person even when they don't love you back?

if this is it - who would want it?

now that i read this over i feel like a retard even contemplating all of this.

i'm going to go read that book and lay in the bed now.

i know where the book and the bed came from and that both have no expectations in my actions.

further more, i know that my husband and my children want nothing from me but to be there - acting and reacting with no apologies or explaination.

i treat all of them with the same respect and love that they treat me.

everyday they still pursue my attentions regardless of what i produce in turn back to them.

also - everyday i still manage to exceed their expectations.

this somehow makes it all better.

Yes, it's true - that's why I said it. And no, apparently there is no need to fix it. Just people like myself - we need to stop giving a shit, I guess.

Thursday, July 7th, 2005
9:14 pm
saddened
so my mother in law is the regional director of office operations here on the west coast.

she has been a terrible pain in the ass since she got this job to me and every other unlucky freakshow that works with us.

when she was offered this position i told her she was not qualified and could not handle the job. she had nothing but a friendship with the big official director of office operations to offer.

she took it anyway.

her and the big official director of office operations got thrown "under the bus" today for not supporting our office staff & generally being dick holes raping their power and making money off of the backs of others....

by me.

i feel like shit.

i had to do it.

i cried like a moron all day. my staff loved me and supported me and so did my husband.

i still feel like shit.

my dad sent a picture of him and his son to kailey.

i hid it.

he's such an idiot.

Good for you. I mean that. And yeah, he is an idiot. Mine too. I wish you weren't like this.